User Profile

i was born in the cauldron of a powerful androgynous mage. it didn't particularly like me so i was implanted into the womb of a korean immigrant couple in austin, texas. the various curses and incantations of this mage (pronounced over me prior to my exile) are unlocked at predetermined points in my life when triggered by special orientations and convergences of predesignated particles of matter located in the sun. in instinctive fear of that sun, i gradually sought out a life of darkness where my only illumination was the flashlight on the book or the glow of a computer screen. meanwhile, unknown to me, an ancient god in the form of an alien worm is growing inside the left ventricle of my heart (microscopic at present). this ancient god wishes nothing more than to see me eat a banana, a watermelon, and vagina-shaped potato chip in quick succession. he thinks that such an act is the most sublime experience possible in the universe. unfortunately, i can't stand watermelons or bananas. hmm... yes, that's my life up to this point. oh, and yesterday, i slew the sole breadwinner of a family of ants when i callously stepped on him in the street. the formian court of justice is seeking my extradition from the republic of korea but their ambassador was drowned by the recent rainy season in this country. i am extremely grateful to the tenant of cloud 8 who precipitated that downpour, for the usual means of punishment prescribed by the formian court of justice involves celibacy for life. that, i think, would suck. that's my life.

this is the text of the _special_ copyright:
all entries are copyrighted by bansuki (my pseudonym). this copyright allows you to copy or quote any part of my entries as long as credit is given to bansuki. any partial quote (as opposed to an entire entry) must be noted as such and any complete quote must have this copyright message included prominently at the beginning or end of the copied text. bansuki retains the exclusive right to republish all writings for monetary or free food compensation. this notice is subject to change as bansuki sees fit. violation of any of these parts will result in a penalty including offering your soul, unconditionally to a stale (very stale!) dorito.

Friends (10):

Mutual Friends (7):

Also Friend of (3):